Why are Black women ashamed of their natural hair?

I've come across A LOT of comments on Black women's hair. I'm a Black woman so I'm going to speak on it and would appreciate feedback from people, Black, White, or otherwise.

Point blank, we live in a country that tells us that the standard of beauty is Eurocentric. Many people of color, grow up thinking their brown skin or kinky hair is "unmanageable," "un professional," "ugly." They believe this because WAY back in slavery times, this was put in the head of our ancestors. Then, a Black woman invented the perm so Black women (and men back then) could "manage" their unruly hair.

Unfortunately, many sisters still believe this myth, that natural hair is unattractive, hard to manage and can't be worn at work. These are all lies. The brainwashing has been passed down from generation to generation. If you want to perm your hair, fine more power to you, but do it cause you want to, not to rationalize by saying otherwise your "nappy" hair can't be managed cause thats bullsh*t.

Why are Black women ashamed of their natural hair?

hey, i hear you on the issue.

i tried perming my hair but it always fell out. there was one time i had severe burns on my scalp from a kiddie perm left in for 45 minutes. after 2 years of weaves and trying to grow my hair out, it was gone in 3 weeks.

so, i went back to weaves for 6 years. damn, it's hot when you're trying to work out!!! but i always felt fake, and i felt embarassed when people told me they liked my hair, or when sisters asked me where i got my weave, who did it, etc.

i was really scared to make the transition because i work in a professional environment, and i was scared to take my weave off. my hairdresser then set me straight: she said that black women need to get over themselves in what they think white people will think about their hair. yes, some are ignorant, and in many ways it's because they are not used to seeing natural hair. we've tried to look like them for years, and all of a sudden we're going natural and expect them to 'understand'. yes, there are cultural problems, but we've done a poor job of making them 'get it' by trying to assimilate. it's our job to educate them. you walk into your office proud of your hair with it neat and clean, and no one will care. at most they will be curious or think it's exotic. maybe some won't like it, but they will get used to it. get over yourself.' ouch. but she was right.

so i finally said screw it, and i got sisterlocks. i sat down with my coworkers, explained what i was about to do and that my hair was not really my hair and showed them pictures of natural hair on the internet. it made the shock of the transition a lot easier for me. my parents called me and begged me not to lock my hair. they are still very old school in their thinking that all locks look like bob marley's. after it was done, they really liked it.

but the strange thing was, right after i locked it and was all pro-natural, circumstances changed at work and i decided to start looking for another job. my immediate reaction was 'omg!!! will anyone hire me with my hair like this?' it was insane! as it turned out, i had no issues with any of my interviews (none of the companies i interviewed for had any other black employees), and in my new job, i have this one woman who keeps touching my hair (i need to talk to her about it).

in terms of manageability, i have never done anything easier. i would never go back, and not a day goes by where i regret my decision.

i did some research on relaxers and realized that it is the equavalent of pouring liquid draino on your head (they both have similar ingredients and the same pH balance). it was invented by a slave who accidentally spilled chemicals used in sewing machines on his arm. it burned him, but it also straightened the hair on his arm. and i am putting that stuff on my head next to my brain? the skin does absorb this stuff and it goes into the bloodstream (think of topical medications). people have died relaxing their hair. no wonder i was losing mine! if you look at people who have been relaxing their hair for years, many have significant hair loss and irreparable damage. the weave/fake hair industry is making the koreans quite rich. it's a personal decision, but those are the reasons why i stopped and am quite happy being nappy.

Why are Black women ashamed of their natural hair?

ALL WOMEN want a hair type or style other than what is on their head. That is why Clairol, Revlon, etc. are so rich!!. Curly wants straight, straight wants body, brown wants blond, red heads want black and around and around. Report It

Why are Black women ashamed of their natural hair?

I think it the pressure of white culture bearing down them....

as it always has....

Why are Black women ashamed of their natural hair?

I have no idea. I find their hair lovely, and don't understand why they try to change the texture.

Why are Black women ashamed of their natural hair?

Almost every television show, every commercial, and every picture advertisement that has anything to do, or has women in it shows white women and their hair. Have you noticed that almost every advertisement that does have Black women in it shows her with dreadlocks, or a frizzy style, or straight hair? Also, have you noticed you never see a black woman's natural hair on tv or in magazines unless it has something to do with the 60s or early 70s?

Black women have been made to see their features and hair as ugly by the whites. Also it would be hard for a black woman to walk into a job interview with her natural hair style. To whites an Afro, or natural hair on a black woman or man makes it seem like we are protesting against something (meaning white establishment) or we are trying to make a statement about something. This is why Black women straighten their hair and black men shave off their hair.

BTW isn't it funny (in a not so pleasant way) that our natural hair state is interpreted as "protesting" or making a statement? It's sad that even in our naturalness we are demonized

.

Life is sad.

Why are Black women ashamed of their natural hair?

I go for chick who just prefer to be themselves. But, I feel it's important for people (regardless of gender/race) to keep in mind that getting a perm is not mutually exclusive with being themselves.

Of course no one knows what is in your head; but you truly know. If you do it to "fit-in" then I would say your lame. But if you do it because you want to try it-it is perfectly reasonable to view it as trying a different hair style-which people casually do every day in salons world wide.

I'm a white guy. For some reason, even though my parents are white, I inherited hair like that of a African. It is rough, course and grows towards the sun-it will never lay down or straighten out! When I was in my early teens I hated this and would actually go to a Black hair salon to get my hair chemically straightened. It still didn't look that great but I constanly tried to "mold" myself after my white friends. Even my black friends would crack on me because they shaved their head to keep it clean-looking while mine froed out!

My first year of college, this is 97' mind you, a girl from west Angoloa Africa started pursuing me. One of the things she loved was my "African" hair. Although we split after a year and a half (her family was impossible-I had no tolerance for it back then) she made me feel great about my hair.

Next thing you know, N'Sync was big-I got my fro curled like Justin; after that died out, the hippie "fro" look became popular and I picked-up chicks suffice to say!

Point is: wear it with pride. I see a lot of fine Black women here in NYC and they do straighten their hair-I wish I could see them all naturale!

Why are Black women ashamed of their natural hair?

I ask my self that all the time. I have heard lots of excuses, the most popular being "straight hair is easier to manage" ... but I dont call spending 4 to 8 hours and 60 to 100 a week "easy."

here is a really interesting story: I was dating this girl for few years. So one day we were at a bar and we run into one of my old female friends. Now, my old friend is poster child for Black beauty. The girl I was dating was visibly in secure and basically mad, by the time my friend walked away. When I asked her what was worng, she says "nothing, I just dont like her" I say: "why?" And she says "because shes natural, and I know that is what you like"

hmmm......

Why are Black women ashamed of their natural hair?

This is a really valid issue, and one that's saddened me a lot recently. Women of color have natural hair that is so diverse and beautiful, and unfortunately, they are taught from so young an age that their hair is "too rough" or "too wild" or "too African." I always wonder why they are taught against those things, like they are bad. :(

The problem is that so many women have been told for so long that the only way to be "beautiful" is to be fair-skinned, sleek-haired, smooth-skinned and slim. How boring and restrictive! Unfortunately, women of color are taught these lessons from such a young age, and these ideals are reinforced time and time again throughout our lives. Our mothers teach us how to "manage" our unruly hair, if you go natural, men ask ,"what's up with your hair? it's so rough/frizzy/wild," and everywhere we look, we see images of dewy, smooth "beauty."

Until we learn to accept our bodies and ourselves as beautiful, we'll have to live with these burdens. And even more sadly, in our efforts to mold ourselves into this stupid (and impossible) ideal, we'll be forced to cover up and hide the beauties that we in actuality possess.

Why are Black women ashamed of their natural hair?

I have seen some beautiful children of mixed parents in Los Angeles who have the most gorgeous naturally curly hair.

I heard an interview with Don King, who mentioned how one night when he was sleeping, the ends of his hair suddenly became alive with astonishing energy and began to unravel and move according to the rhythm of the energy, and I have since learned that torque is a twisting force of energy. I sometimes wonder if the kinks in natural curls is some kind of energy untapped...

I think natural hair is beautiful no matter what race or kind. The children of mixed parents I have seen in large cities like Los Angeles and San Francisco have stopped me in my tracks with their beauty.

I'm thinking maybe it's not shame, but the pain each person suffers in trying to comb and tame that hair. My daughter has a bit of natural curl to her hair, and she cries something awful when we comb those tangles out. I can't let it just go, because the tangles make her hair look messy. We love those curls, so we try the best we can to make them come out. But it hurts her so. I can understand how some girls with more kink to their curls would want to straighten their hair or have corn rows forever, just so they don't have to suffer the pain of everyday combing.

But I do agree with you. I have seen some really beautiful natural hair, and it should be let out more often.

Why are Black women ashamed of their natural hair?

They should not be ashamed of their naturally kinky hair (you should be ashamed of using the term "nappy", doing this just cost Don Imus his job), or the other racial features that blacks have. Blacks are beautiful. And blacks should never attempt to look more "white." Blacks should avoid being "white" in any way, in fact. They need to retain their own identity, and stay separate from whites, and other races, in all ways. One way to do this is to display their kinky hair to the fullest.

Why are Black women ashamed of their natural hair?

I think you answered your own question. Beauty is defined as Eurocentric in American society. So many don't want to believe that subconciously, they adhere to that standard.....paper thin hair that blows in the breeze is more beautiful than thick, kinky curls.

I must admit I did for a while...now, my hair isn't natural, but it's not because I don't want to. Being biracial, my mother was at a loss on how to handle my hair when I was a little girl. She put excessively tooooo strong relaxers in my hair to try to tame it because she didn't know how to take care of my hair since it was much thicker than hers. After so many years, the damage is startinf to finally be undone, but I have to admit now that I don't know what to do with it when its natural anymore...I'd look like a bad shampoo commercial without my flat iron.

Why are Black women ashamed of their natural hair?

I am a lesbian. I personally find natural Black hair to be VERY attractive on a woman... I love curly hair in general, and Black hair is THE curliest... :)

When we were together, I shared an apt with my ex-GF, who is Black, a few years ago. I loved being able to touch her hair when we were being close because it was soo soft and full and lovely...

Of course it took me like two months of telling her i thought her hair was BEAUTIFUL before she let me do it.

She thought her hair was nappy too, and was afraid to let me touch it at all at first...!

But after i assured her i really DID like the look and feel of it, she became more comfortable with it ...and more comfortable with letting her hair go natural around me :) !!

I'm not Black, but i think the negative hype around Black hair on women is a generational insecurity compounded by contemporary influences...

But all these negative perspectives on Black women's hair are just lame, sorry excuses for people to maintain negative feelings about Black-ness... Think about it...

Even those who have Black hair still manage to internalize these negative feelings about Blackness which have been imposed on and internalized by generation after generation of Americans (black, white, yellow, etc)

But I say to you all...Build your bridge and get over it !!

Black hair is friggin LOVELY :)

Why are Black women ashamed of their natural hair?

In my case not at all I wear my natural hair proudly. I don't think that women should necessarily stop getting their hair straighten but their mentality about their natural hair should change. Over years, Black people in this country have been put down and label inferior because of the physical features we were born with. In the media there are mostly White people, the few Blacks all have European hairstyles, this creates an opinion in the Black community that straight hair equals beauty. Some Black women that in order to attract the opposite sex they have to have long straight hair. Also think about the work force most companies say that Afros, cornrows, locs etc.. are unprofessional so Black women feel pressure to conform for their career advancement. It's a complex issue but at the end of the day everyone has the right to their opinion, hopefully a day will come were Black people and all races are TRULY thought of as equal.

Why are Black women ashamed of their natural hair?

You are absolutely correct; I'm transitioning now. I also feel that if I was meant to have straight hair I would have been born with it

Why are Black women ashamed of their natural hair?

well in Louisiana...its usually in the upper 90's in the summer, and a lot of black women just dont want to risk having all of their hair break off because it is soo dry...i have heard that black women cant wash their hair everyday like other races can...because their hair will eventually dry up and break...however, many black women choose to get perms and such and they can manage their hair that way by putting more moisturizer in their hair. Then again, many black women just say "To hell with it" and they put on a scalp cap and and fix up a weave...but there are the select few black women who have good natural hair that can be easily managed.

Why are Black women ashamed of their natural hair?

OMG! This is like the debate between self-righteous stay at home moms who don't want someone else raising their children and working moms who want to use their degrees rather than let their brains atrophy. People make choices that are right for them. Period. You seem to have difficulty believing that some women simply prefer to perm their hair, and that they make this choice without regard to what society tells them they should do.

It's akin to someone asking you why you "talk white" instead of like a sister. You're conforming to our society's Eurocentric speech patterns, rather than embracing your true black self and speaking like black people are supposed to talk. And the answer is simple. You choose to speak proper English because it's what works for you. Period. You don't do it to impress people, to be taken more seriously, to show off. You just do it. And you are probably genuinely puzzled -- not to mention insulted -- when people say that "you don't sound black."

Why not ask women why they wear make-up, heels, and perfume? Or, why they don't? I think you've given this much more thought than many of the women you accuse of buying into a lie. What you've done works for you now, but for a long time it didn't. You made a change that you now want all other black women to make, but that's not realistic. Even after reading all you have to say, many will simply continue to perm their hair because they like the way it looks. No more, no less.

Give those ladies a break, girl!

Addendum:

Actually, it IS a debate, because you begin your "discussion" with a false premise: that all black women are ashamed of their natural hair. That is not true, although you believe it to be, and you then recite all the reasons they should not be -- whether they are or not!

Thanks, you have a good day, too! ;-)

Why are Black women ashamed of their natural hair?

You are a double talker or better yet you speak from both sides of your mouth. You answered one of my questions by saying black people should be weary of giving there kids black names because the white establishment would not hire them because of ethnic names. Maybe the white establishment wouldn't hire black women for wearing naturally ethnic hair as well. You can't pick and choose topics to speak on. If you are going to be militant on one you have to be militant on all topics. Would you go to an interview with those afro puffs? I bet i would get a job quicker with a name like Shaquintan than you with the afropuffs. Deep well not really. Peace and love You really need to learn how to bet the game than complain. I'm a hood brother wit no college degree. Yet I am an executive and still very much a brother. I went threw your stage for many years. I lost many jobs and many friends as well. Then I learned the best way to win the game is to play the game with knowledge not emotion. Look at my questions and answers and you will see despite the fact that I have a fade and would rather wear a suit. I'm very much a bother. I learned how to beat the game and stopped the game beat me. You at the good stage and that's great. your mad at something but the way your expressing yourself is not going to get you anywear. This is Malcolm X learned before he died. Your argument are so shallow and not worth there weight. if a sister changed the lives of 3000 young black youths but wore a perm would it matter. If a nother sister wore dreads and acted militant but never helped herself and others would she be better to you. Think a whole more deeper. instead of understanding start overstanding what it TRULY means to be black. Because you don't know yet.

Why are Black women ashamed of their natural hair?

You typed alot...thanks anyway..lol